I spent the beginning of tonight priding myself that I’ve won the breakup, that I was so great for caring less.
Fuck yeah, am I awesome or what?
Can’t sleep, don’t care. I’m awesome.
Soent the whole night binge-watching “Superjail” and “Rick & Morty”. Fuck, almost woke up my mom from laughing.
Then I got to episode 8 of “Rick & Morty”.
It was the episode where Rick had jigged up the cable box and the whole family could watch shows from every conceivable dimension possible.
Then came the parallel dimensions on TV where Jerry, the fucking numbskull, ends up snorting coke and fucking Kristen Stewart because he’s so famous.
Whatever, Jerry. Nobody likes you, anyways.
And guess what? In another dimension, Summer, Jerry’s wife, is rich beyond compare, and lives her dream she abandoned when she married Jerry.
Then there was Summer, the first kid. She didn’t have any exciting parallel “her”. The only other dimension she could find herself in, she was playing Yatzee.
By the end of the episode, the two parents were so close to divorce, they just completely shut down.
Jerry was watching TV with Rick and Morty, and they started watching alternate, famous Jerry having a mental breakdown, naked, half, bald, and racing somewhere in a go-kart.
Obviously, this caught their attention. What the fuck is going on?
Sarah, the wife, was watching her alternate self through special sci-fi glssses in another room. Same dimension, where the famous version of her husband was.
Famous Jerry finally stopped his go-kart and ran to this house, knocked the door, and waited.
Through Sarah’s sci-fi glasses, she heard a knock at the door. She opened it, and there was Jerry, naked, with a needle in his chest, half-bald, and distressed. He said something like this.
“Sarah, I don’t care about Johnny Depp, the coke, Kristen Stewart, or the fame. I’ve been in love with you since High school and i’ve always wondered what it would’ve been like if things were different!”
At that point, everyone watching was awed.
Alternate Sarah gave her Jerry an embrace on the TV, and our Sarah gave her Jerry a moving kiss.
This episode made me fucking ball like a baby.
What could’ve been?
It left me with that.
I’m done feeling good about leaving such a loving person. I’m just lonely, in bed, and crying about what never happened.
Not sure if Rick & Morty was supposed to make me sad.